Failure Doesn't Lead To Success

Failure Doesn’t Lead To Success

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driving test

I failed my driving test twice.

During one of the tests, I hit a curb and nearly made the examiner shit his pants and he was a total dick about it too.

I was determined to pass on the third try. I mean, this was getting ridiculous! I decided to do some serious practice and unlearn some bad habits I had picked up along the way (like only using the rear view mirror to check behind me when in reverse).

So I pulled up to the licensing center in my parents pimpin’ blue Dodge Caravan. Sure enough, because I’m the luckiest girl in the world, dickhead driving examiner would be my ride along this time.

But I was determined not to let his douchey ways get in the way of getting my license and essentially my freedom from my boring teenage existence.

My driving was nearly perfect. I missed one blind spot check. Of course the examiner had to point out that I could have hit someone but whatever, no one died, I’m a good driver, give me my license!

So yeah, I had failed. I continue to fail. I am failing right now as I write this.

You’ve probably heard over and over that failure leads to success. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.

Sure, I can get on board with that. But there’s a lot of shit going on between failure and success.

Failure is not a direct, one-way route to success.

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When I fail, I get pissed off. I throw a bit of a tantrum, maybe pound my fist on the table. Probably have too much wine.

And then being pissed off leads me to feeling discouraged. I’ll probably self-medicate with some candy, and more wine.

And feeling discouraged leads to self-pity. Why me? Why can’t I be successful like her, and have tons of clients, and a waiting list?

And finally, feeling discouraged leads to a fork in the road…

Do I quit or do I pivot? Do I throw in the towel or change the way I’m doing things?

And as a result of trudging through the yucky emotions that follow failure, I’m able to make decisions about my next steps with a clearer mind.

You can’t skip the yuck.

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It’s all part of the process.

Embrace the yuck and know with each successive yucky feeling that you’re moving¬†forward. It might be towards success, or it might be towards another failure. But at least there is forward movement, and that’s really what matters.

So look ahead, check your blind spot, and proceed.